Are you feeling unattractive?
If you are, there might actually be some simple things that might be blocking you from feeling attractive--things that you do that result from unexamined beliefs. I had plenty of those for sure in my life (still uncovering more).
For example, I long held this belief that I was only supposed to dress up on special occasions (along with a strange belief that I wasn't suppose to dance unless I was dressed up). I also believed that I was supposed to save the clothes I loved for the "better days."
For "normal days," I was supposed to wear "regular" or "normal" clothes, which meant that I was to wear the safest, most boring, practical clothes I didn't really like (plain, easy-to-match clothes in black, white, brown, or beige).
And that meant that I wore clothes I didn't really like 363 days of the year.
I remember one year where I purposely bought and wore clothes I didn't like at all, so I wouldn't mind getting dirty working with young children.
This was a year leading up to a year and half of depression that I experienced 6 years ago.
Of course, I'm not saying that wearing clothes I didn't like caused depression, but this is a good example of how I was disconnecting myself from feeling sensual and experiencing pleasure in my everyday life.
As I became more and more engaged in life after my period of depression, I started to examine my belief around this wearing-what-I-love-only-on-special-days thing.
One thing that came up was that I felt like I was "wasting" my favorite clothes If I wore them on regular days.
It was as if most days weren't important enough for me to treat as so, and those days were to be spent without engagement or passion.
The other thing that came up was that I was dressing up to look good to other people, judging my self-worth by what kind of and how many responses I got.
In the new era of my life I didn't want to do that anymore.
Every day was a special day that's worth wearing my favorite clothes for.
And I wanted to buy and wear clothes I really liked or loved, that I felt good wearing.
My wardrobe changed.
It reflected the colors I liked and it became more bold and bright (green, yellow, flowy with patterns).
And I wore them because I felt good in them, and not because I wanted to get compliments from other people (though I still appreciated compliments in a different way).
Now I'm not saying that dressing up is necessarily wearing fancy clothes. I am saying to wear what feels good to you, your favorite clothes, whatever that means to you.
It might mean that you wear jeans and t-shirts. It might mean that you wear baggy athletic clothes. It might mean that you wear flowy dresses.
And if you're not sure what that means, go try something new, something different that you feel scared to try.
Don't get me wrong. This is not about changing external things to make superficial changes.
It's about honoring who you are and honoring your soul by allowing things to reflect who you are on the inside.
It's really about allowing your essence to shine through instead of hiding it.
So here are my simple suggestions that you can do to make a huge difference in the way you feel.
2 Super Simple Steps You Can Take To Feel Beautiful Today
1. Ditch Your Ugly Clothes!
Now, remember, the definition of ugly is different for everyone. Your ugly may not be my ugly, and my ugly may not be your ugly. When I say ugly, it simply means that it's something you don't feel good wearing.
You may feel ugly and unattractive when you're wearing casual frumpy clothes. You may feel ugly wearing a girly dress. It's different for everyone.
Go through your closet and pick 3 items you really don't care to wear (if you feel too radical to get rid of 3, do 1). Yes, I understand they're perfectly good clothes. I know you may be feeling resistant.
The Goodwill will appreciate your donation very much, and your ugly clothes will find better homes and perhaps become beautiful for someone else.
I promise you, you will feel better and feel more sense of space in you once you do it!
2. Replace Your Ugly Clothes with beautiful Clothes You Love!
Now let's go shopping.
You don't have to go crazy or have a lot of money to do this. There are lovely second hand stores and consignment stores that have beautiful and brand new or barely worn clothes. I have gotten some amazing stuff from them for a fraction of the cost. And, it's eco-friendly. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! A win win.
Once you're out there shopping, pick only things you absolutely love. Don't get them for just practical reasons. Get things that your inner essence screams "Yes, please!" for.
Try them on, and if you say, "Ooh, I look and feel good in these," it's a go!
Finally, wear them! On a totally "normal day" for no reason.
And if you already have clothes you love, wear them more often instead of saving them, if you're anything like I used to be
Own your unique beauty. Let it shine.